..:Toxic Depression:...

Ok, well, I lived in a split townhouse in Mississauga since I was born. I'v probably known that i'm gay since i was around 8. I kindof clued into it when My best friend Mathew took me to a nudist swimming pool; I don't think i had payed attention when they said "NAKED PEOPLE" but i found out when i got there (no way i didnt swim naked *shudders*)... My mom would always be juggling jobs, and my dad would be working all night at home depot. I was pretty close with my mom, and sorta close with my dad, like when he was home I would spend most of my time with him. my mom and dad would fight a lot, and yell and hit stuff (never each other) yet it was always intense when they fought. you know dads, always have to be angry and intimidating. I would always get upset and cry and run up to my room and blame myself, and about 30 mins later my dad would be up yelling at me and my mom would be up 40 mins later crying and apologizing to me. Its sad isn’t it, you mom having to apologize to her own son for her husband. but my dad wasn’t a bad guy, I loved my mom and dad. I was a kid then, so it was all TV and jungle gyms. Around when I was 4 or 5 my dad's dad died, and when I was 6 or 7 my dad’s mom died; so times got a little harder, but we inherited their money (almost all of it), which helped us out a lot. We had problems at the time. after my grandma died we moved to Barrie, which is about 90mins north. life was pretty good down in Barrie. I was a fatty, and one of the most popular kids in my grade (a rare combination). For every nice guy there is an ass hole, well, i wasn’t that nice, but I was still picked on like hell, being a little over weight for my age. anyways, I had a temper, piss me off and your face would end up in the ground. one eventful week in well.. some time in the spring of when I was 8 or 9 we went of vacation to Tam Pico, Mexico. It was amazing fun until about the middle of it. my dad got sick, we called in a doctor and he said it was just a bug, but the idiot was way off. we went home early, without me reely knowing what was happening. it turned out that my dad had alcoholism (addicted to alcohol) and his kidney was all fucked up. so he went into the hospital, we didn’t know how bad it really was, just knew that it wasn’t good. well 1 day I was at a friends house when my grandpa came over to take me ""home"" well, I fought him off but, I eventually got mad and said FINE ILL GO THEN and in the car my grandpa told me that my dad had fallen and hit his head and had about an hour left to live, his brain was bleeding. But he was fine, he came out of the hospital probably a month or 2 later and was home for a couple of weeks. recovering and stuff, but then he was back in the hospital. then we got Emma, my best friend, my dog; she is a golden retriever. so we finally got her after a 5 hour drive one way and a 2 hour drive back, confusing eh? my mom got SO LOST on the way there. We brought her to see my dad in the hospital and they really connected.. anyways, my dad was out of the hospital again soon for about 2 weeks then he was back in. then his kidney failed when he was there and he died. it was an extremely hard time after that. me and my mom, got really close. anyways fastforward throught the depressing part of my life to now. My mom remarried to an italian guy named adrian. i dont really like him, but hes ok some times, but i have a step sister named Amanda and step brother named andrew. The only one that knows im gay is amanda..well only one in the family. Emma is still with us and she's doing great. And thats a brief history on my life..

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